life Archives - Laura Rutherford

Wednesday’s Wardrobe Presents…

9th May 2018 By thatmummysmile Leave a Comment

Ever been intrigued to see what your favourite Influencers have in their wardrobes? Want to know where they like to shop, what their favourite items are and discover their most treasured accessories? This new Series of mine lets us discover the truth behind the style, the old clobber among the new and reveal the stories within the wardrobe.

Wednesday’s Wardrobe Presents….

WHO? Franki Clothier AKA @TheMiddleMama

TELL US ABOUT YOU? I’m a 27 year old mum to one living in Hackney, East London.. I write a blog called THE MIDDLE MAMA, where I chat all sorts of bits and bobs and take too many pictures of my baby. Come say hi!

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE? My style is casual, cool and almost always comfy. I’m trainers 80% of the time.

WHO OR WHAT INSPIRES YOU? I love living in East London for style inspiration. There are so many well-dressed people around. I definitely take a lot of inspiration from the streets, cafes and pubs of Hackney.

DESCRIBE THE CURRENT STATE OF YOUR WARDROBE! Pretty full! And with probably the most colour and print it’s ever had.

Franki’s wardrobe consists of plenty of dresses!

WHAT’S YOUR MOST RECENT FASHION PURCHASE? A black, baggy top and joggers co-ord from Zara. I can’t wait to wear it in spring with sunnies and a basket bag. It looks so comfy but cool at the same time. Perfect for mum-ing.

IS THERE A TREND YOU’RE LOVING RIGHT NOW? Leopard print. I seem to be drawn to leopard print loads at the moment. I’ve read that it’s a neutral so, you kind of NEED it in your wardrobe anyway, right?

OLDEST ITEM IN YOUR WARDROBE YOU CAN’T SEEM TO PART WITH? I have a chunky, off the shoulder, pastel pink jumper that I think I’ve worn once. I absolutely love it, it’s really beautiful but it doesn’t really suit me. It would look so much better on someone with smaller boobs but I can’t bear to part with it!

ANY FASHION FAILS YOU’VE MADE? Probably! When I was younger I went through a stage of ONLY wearing clothes if they were Nike or Adidas. I know that’s kind of cool now but at the time it wasn’t really. I was a massive tomboy and whilst other girls my age were wearing crop tops and flared trousers and listening to steps. I was head to toe in tracksuits and at Elland Road watching Leeds United. My mum even cried once because I demanded to wear my trainers under my Holy Communion dress. I would only wear my hair scraped back in a low ponytail too. Again, kinda cool now but it really wasn’t at the time!

IS THERE A PARTICULAR COLOUR YOU’RE DRAWN TO? Black. It’s safe and always looks good.

FAVOURITE HIGH STREET BRAND AND WHY? I used to buy EVERYTHING from ASOS because I’m pretty lazy and free next-day delivery makes it so easy but I’d have to say Zara. Recently, I can’t go in there without wanting everything! It’s so reasonable too.

This pink Zara Suit is one of Franki’s favourite Wardrobe items, which she recently wore to a wedding

Another favourite piece of hers is this gorgeous wide-leg Stella McCartney pair of Jeans

MOST TREASURED ACCESSORY YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT? Ed bought me a Sophia Hulme cross body bag for Christmas this year and I really love it. It’s quite understated and simple and I really like that. I also wear my mums first wedding ring (it’s my wedding ring now) every day, so that too.

HAS YOUR STYLE DIFFERED FROM PRE TO POST MOTHERHOOD? I don’t think it has really changed that much. One thing I noticed when looking though old pictures was that I only ever really wore black, grey or white before and since becoming a mum I tend to wear more colour. I think that’s the instagram effect! The biggest change I made was chopping all my hair off after having a baby though. I used to have such long hair and now it’s shorter I feel much more grown up and stylish.

Franki pre-motherhood, with her envious long locks!!

And finally…

WHAT MESSAGE WILL YOU BE GIVING (or do you already) TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT STYLE AND BODY CONFIDENCE? That she can wear whatever the hell she wants and will look fabulous in anything that she decides she likes. But also, that there is so much more to body confidence than what you wear. It comes from the inside and I’ll try my best to teach that to her.

QUICK FIRE QUESTIONS:

LEOPARD OR STRIPE? Leopard

SECOND HAND OR DOUBLE CLICK? Double Click

HEELS OR FLATS? Flats

STATEMENT EARRINGS OR NECKLACE? Earrings (hoops every time!)

HOARDER OR CLEARER? Clearer (and constant replacer!)

Franki has become one of those great friends I’ve met throughout the world of Instagram. She’s a cool East London mama with lots of style. You’ll find her over on Instagram @themiddlemama sharing her recent fashion purchases and plenty of gorgeous pics of Mally her daughter! With her experience as a former Teacher, she has recently shown an interest in the Period Poverty discussion/ debate and is helping challenge the stigma which surrounds speaking up about Menstruation. If you head to her blog www.themiddlemama.com you’ll find a number of amazing campaigns you too could jump on to help make a difference. One of which is The Red Box Project which Franki herself is running in Hackney xxx

Wednesday’s Wardrobe Presents…

11th April 2018 By thatmummysmile Leave a Comment

Ever been intrigued to see what your favourite Inflencers have in their wardrobes? Want to know where they like to shop, what their favourite items are and discover their most treasured accessories? This new Series of mine lets us discover the truth behind the style, the old clobber among the new and reveal the stories within the wardrobe.

That Mummy Smile

Wednesday’s Wardrobe Presents….

WHO? Steph Douglas @steph_dontbuyherflowers

TELL US ABOUT YOU? I’m 37 years old, married to Doug, we have three kids – Buster (7), Mabel (5) and Frank (5 months). I run Don’t Buy Her Flowers selling thoughtful gift packages. We started as gifts for new mums and it’s evolved to also include birthdays, bereavement, get well – any time you want to send someone some TLC in the post. I’m enthusiastic, impatient and not very nice when I’m hungry. I’m currently very very tired!

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE? Urgh at the moment it’s distinctly lacking as my body is at that strange not-pregnant-anymore-but-can’t-yet-fit-in-my-clothes stage. Before havng Frank I’d say it was a lot of high waisted stuff, love a good shirt, own a lot of jumpsuits, and there’s a lot of leopard print in the mix. Quite a lot of my clothes have a bit of an 80s feel. I think I was just getting in to my style-stride in the last couple of years and I’m looking forward to getting back there at some point.

WHO OR WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Instagram is brilliant for seeing clothes on real people. Terrible for your wallet, but great for introducing new brands and small businesses, and seeing how others put their outfits together.

DESCRIBE THE CURRENT STATE OF YOUR WARDROBE! A terrible mish mash of maternity and baggy stuff I can throw on and I basically wear because it fits, and my old clothes just taunting me. I think it’s a bit of unknown after a baby because it’s not just whether you’re bigger on not – your shape changes. I have really small boobs but at the moment they’re massive and I’ve no idea how to dress them, plus they need to be accessible for feeding. Wearing clothes out of necessity rather than because you like them isn’t a lot of fun, but I’m not going to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for a shortish period. If it’s anything like after I had Buster and Mabel, I will want to burn everything I’ve worn for the last few months once I finish feeding! As you can see from the picture, it’s a mess. I’ll get to it in a few months…

WHAT’S YOUR MOST RECENT FASHION PURCHASE? Ooh, some beautiful red buckled Russell & Bromley boots. They’re quite different for Russell & Bromley, which I always think of as sensible footwear for a slightly older lady, but they had these boots and also some very cool trainers that took me by surprise. They were a total impulse buy – I saw them in the window and thought ‘fuck it, I’ve earned them’. Whilst the rest of me is changing shape, these will always fit.

IS THERE A TREND YOU’RE LOVING RIGHT NOW? I’m so unaware of what is on trend at the moment… I think it’s another thing that makes you feel a bit vulnerable when you’re a new mum. You’re locked away for a few months and then when you’re ready to get out again you’re not quite sure who you are or what you wear.

OLDEST ITEM IN YOUR WARDROBE YOU CAN’T SEEM TO PART WITH? I’ve a dress that I got at a vintage market before we were married, so at least 10 years ago, that’s a Diorling by Christian Dior dress. I’ve had it tailored since as I lost my boobs after the first two kids and it was all gapey. It’s pretty much backless and I’m not sure I will wear it again but it’s really different and I loved it when I found it.

ANY FASHION FAILS YOU’VE MADE? I think being a teen in the 90s meant lots of trying to unsuccessfully emulate the Spice Girls – a union jack halter neck was probably a low point BUT I thought I looked the bees knee.

IS THERE A PARTICULAR COLOUR YOU’RE DRAWN TO? Green

FAVOURITE HIGH STREET BRAND AND WHY? & other stories. I find things I like in there without fail and it has some more edgy or different stuff as well as the staples.

This is Steph’s favourite outfit in her wardrobe: A soft leather skirt from & Other Stories and fab blouse from BIMBA y Lola. As worn in above pic when her and Doug spent a weekend in Paris last year before she found out she was pregnant with Frank!

MOST TREASURED ACCESSORY YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT? I tend to have a favourite that I wear every day for a few months and then unintentionally swap for something else. I’ve lots of pieces of jewellery that are special to me – I’ve a necklace and earrings from Kelly at Cult Of Youth that I love. I also love a massive Pat Butcher earring so have quite a good collection of those.

HAS YOUR STYLE DIFFERED FROM PRE TO POST MOTHERHOOD? I think it’s improved significantly with age and learning what suits my body better, and also probably buying less but buying better quality clothes. I probably make more effort now

Steph, pre-kids (the days when all you needed was a teeny tiny bag for your phone and fags!) on her and Doug’s very first holiday to Mexico.

And finally…

WHAT MESSAGE WILL YOU BE GIVING (or do you already) TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT STYLE AND BODY CONFIDENCE? The big two have their own style – I haven’t been able to choose their clothes since they were about two! Buster had a pirate phase (he dressed as a pirate every day for 6 months when he was three) and Mabel went through a tutu phase, which she’d pair with an eclectic mix of patterns and colours and boots and she looked like a little Helena Bonham Carter. I’m really determined that body size and shape doesn’t become a thing, especially for Mabel, because it was for me growing up and I’m annoyed by how much energy and time I wasted on it and it still affects me now if I let it. They’re both completely oblivious to nakedness and different shapes at the moment – Mabel stripped in the street to remove a layer when she was hot yesterday and just thought it was hilarious that she was standing on the pavement in tights and trainers. I’m sure it’s a matter of time before things change, but I love the innocence they have now.

QUICK FIRE QUESTIONS:

LEOPARD OR STRIPE? Leopard

SECOND HAND OR DOUBLE CLICK? Both

HEELS OR FLATS? Heels when I’m out out, day to day it’s always flats (usually trainers)

STATEMENT EARRINGS OR NECKLACE? earrings

HOARDER OR CLEARER? Hoarder

I’ve met Steph a few times and she’s a real beautiful gem, with a contagious smile. Steph’s company ‘Don’t Buy Her Flowers’ is an ingenious brand that delivers beautifully thought out gift packages for all occasions, delivered straight to your door. Head over to her website to have a good look at the range on offer. Follow her on Instagram for plenty of yummy Frank pics, family antics (Mabel is HILARIOUS!) and truly real life motherhood at it’s finest.

by Laura xx

Perinatal Depression

14th May 2017 By thatmummysmile Leave a Comment

With it being Mental Health Awareness week I thought I would talk about the perinatal depression I suffered with during both of my pregnancies. I recently went to the launch of the brand Lobella Loves, founded by my friend Jo. Her online boutique stocks some fabulous independent brands and the best part is that a percentage of each sale goes to the charity ‘Cocoon Family Support’- a charity supporting families suffering from perinatal mental health issues.
As most of you know, I have a history of depression which I take regular medication for. It’s nothing I’m ashamed of nor is it something that hinders my day to day living. When I first fell pregnant with Harry 7years ago, I thought that I was certain to fall into the ‘post natal’ depression category. I was bound to be the person to give birth then have a total breakdown- given my history. However that wasn’t the case. In fact my hormones and emotions were pretty level (ok apart from the rollercoaster that is the first couple of months) until the last trimester. During both pregnancies the last trimester certainly made itself known.

I suffered with perinatal (pre-natal) depression whereby my hormones reached a peak causing me to emotionally fall apart and feel unbalanced. It was in the 7th month of my pregnancy with Stanley that I felt incredibly scared and afraid of the sadness and depth of loneliness, so I physically took myself to my local hospital and insisted someone from the mental health department see me straight away. Crying and afraid, I signed in at the reception and waited in the waiting room to be seen. I had to sit on my hands. At this very moment all I thought I wanted and needed was to be admitted and fundamentally ‘taken care of’ by the professionals. I felt desperate, but also very confused. What did I have to be sad about?
Within half an hour of arriving at the hospital, Tye turned up with my parents. As much as Tye is a huge help and comfort, there is something about my mum being totally in tune with me that all I need is for her to swing her arms around me and I instantly feel safe. No words need to be exchanged, just simply being held is good enough.
I saw a counsellor, talked through my sadness and was soon home and calm surrounded by loved ones. The hospital were great at following things up with me. I saw someone weekly and felt totally comforted knowing I could make a single phone call whenever I felt desperate.
Depression is a very strange thing. But it is so real. It’s not something you can just ‘shake off’ or ‘snap out of’. If I learnt anything from my perinatal depression during those few weeks, it was that I had nothing to be ashamed of. Yes I was joyful about the pregnancy but it was in no way a sign that I didn’t want the baby, or didn’t want to be pregnant. You’re in a mass of confusion and a point at which you are literally holding your hands up to say ‘you can’t cope’! Just saying those words really do give you some relief. It’s ok not to be ok. We can’t always cope. But in order to get through it and out of the other side, it is so important to TALK.

If you suspect someone is low, encourage them to talk about it. Maybe you’re not the person they want to share it all with, but be assured there are MANY people out there ready to listen.
By Laura xx

check out Lobella Loves HERE

Family Scooting with Micro Scooters

7th May 2017 By thatmummysmile Leave a Comment

You cannot go anywhere these days without passing someone on a Micro Scooter, and for the first time ever we recently had our first family scooting day out! Yes that’s right, Tye and I have our very own, very cool, adult scooters. Wait for it…..with suspension!!

The boys have been massive Micro Scooter fans for years. Harry even went through a phase of collecting rubber bands which he gathered on the bar of his! When Harry was younger we always instead he wear a helmet too. The speed in which kids whiz around on them can be quite terrifying for parents looking on. Harry no longer wears one but Stanley does and everyone knows how much he loves wearing something on his head so we’ve luckily never had a battle with him not wanting to wear it!

We have some fabulous parks and open spaces in London so we thought we would test drive our new scooters in Battersea Park. Having mastered the art of collapsing and unlocking them, they slotted easily into the boo of the car and clicked back into the upright position swiftly once we arrived. I’m not going to lie, I was pretty terrified about the prospect of totally stacking it in front of passers-by. Tye on the other hand was totally relaxed about the whole thing, even at one point showing off with some ‘crouching’ down ‘skate-boarding’ action! The boys loved seeing mummy and daddy joining in on the scooting fun. I was very dubious about how much I would get into it but I was honestly HOOKED instantly. We effortlessly glided around Battersea Park like an updated Von Trapp family…minus the outfits HAHAHA!

As a family, we regularly have days out and find new and exciting places to go to. With us all having our own Micro Scooter, the FAMILY FUN has now been taken to another level. The giggles we all have every time we take them out are priceless!

If you too have been thinking about getting the adult scooters and amping up your family fun days out, I highly recommend the suspension scooters Tye and I have. The foot plate is a great width for a steady balance and the wheels are larger than most, perfect for a bit more of a rugged terrain. You can find ours over on the website HERE.

To check out the full range visit www.micro-scooters.co.uk and all of the accessories they have on offer too.

I would love to hear all about your own family scooting experiences 😉

by Laura xx

Motherhood is lonely

5th February 2017 By thatmummysmile 1 Comment

‘Motherhood is lonely?’ I hear you ask. Yes, when you become a mum you have children to depend on you, buddies following you around, littles talking to and at you every second of the day… But don’t be fooled. Yes you have companions 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year forevermore, but what no one quite tells you is how deep that feeling of loneliness can feel and the isolation.

Last year we welcomed three new babies into the family, my sister and two sister-in-laws became first time mums. My sister, having spent her career as a Nanny looking after over 40 children in total, had a somewhat glimpse into what motherhood would bring, but even so, would totally hold her hands up and agree that it is lonely. When you spend the first few months in ‘shock’ about how tired you REALLY actually are, and how sleep-deprived you’ve become, reality hits home and for most, everything you expected or had imagined was nothing compared to this.

If you ever thought being a mum was all chats in coffee shops (sometimes), making tens of mummy friends, fun in the sun, happy kids, happy mum, you’re in for a shock;

The days are LONG

Think about the amount of hours in the day you have to fill. That’s a shit lot of time. The aim of the game is to get to the end of the day having kept yourself and your dependants alive!

You will talk to yourself- a lot.

You know those women you see in the park mumbling while their kid is in the swing, or the mum talking about dinner to the packet of pasta she’s picked off the shelf in the supermarket…. That’s YOU. Don’t judge. Face facts, we all go mad. It’s a given.

Draw strength from your husband/ partner.

If you’re in a relationship/ partnership or marriage, remember you’re a team. As tired as you are by the end of the day, you can draw strength and support from each other. Make the most of quality time when the children are tucked up in bed.

You have to MAKE AN EFFORT to make friends.

A friend of mine having just had her second child, was feeling at the end of her tether so I suggested she go out and find some baby groups (you automatically become a little slacker on your second) to mingle with other mums. Her response was hilarious “I don’t want to make new friends, I can’t be bothered”. I TOTALLY get it!…BUT you will go stir crazy if you don’t. The loneliness is not worth it. It may appear that women are all clicky with each other at those baby groups, and you feel intimidated by them, but trust me, they were you before they plucked up the courage to say ‘hi’. They too probably had a cry that morning over spilt milk. They too probably threatened divorce ten times over that week. They too need some company to fill in those hours in the day.

You have to drag yourself out of the house.

Sorry, but there’s only so much Jeremy Kyle you can watch. Yes there’s a mass of laundry that has been building up for a couple of days which your husband might roll his eyes at and wonder what the hell you’ve done with your day, but GET OUT THE HOUSE. Fresh air is key and will help keep you sane. Even if you’ve not had time to get dressed. Throw your trainers on and a big coat over your jim-jams and you’re set. Screw the people with no kids staring at you in the street, you’re a superwoman….you pushed a baby out your vagina!

You have to VALUE YOUR SLEEP (what little of it you get).

Being sleep deprived is a killer. To both yourself and everyone around you. Harry is 7 and Stan is 2 and trust me it doesn’t get any easier (sorry, not sorry). The only time you will EVER get some good sleep is when they’ve moved out. Actually no, even when they’ve moved out you’ll have sleepness nights worried about them on the night bus home, falling out of the student union or off travelling the world. Sorry ladies, there’s no going back! When your hidden are old enough to go to friend’s houses for sleepovers, DON’T have a night on the tiles. GO TO BED!

You have to remember to eat.

Such an obvious thing, but believe me, it’s easy to forget/ eat crap/ not drink enough water and not look after yourself. You’re doing an amazing job feeding your baby, but what good are you if you’re lacking energy or brain power?

You have to keep those that you love close.

The people already in your life still very much want to be a part of your life. They know you for YOU and it’s so important to not lose touch of who YOU are. When you become a parent, so much changes. The ones that love you from your single days, your married days, your baby days and your current days will provide so much relief when you don’t even think you need it. Call on them when you’re feeling low, anxious or lost and their love will help you grow.

You have to have something for yourself.

Having hobbies and interests are totally what keep me SANE. I love spending time with my boys and family time at weekends but having something to distract me and take me out of my ‘mummy zone’ even if it’s for half an hour is such a breath of fresh air! I love painting and being creative- it’s not something I can do when the kids are around me because obviously they want to join in. But my time is MY time and finding space in this foggy brain to think about something other than school run, making beds, running baths and the dreaded bedtime is a rarity!

You have to talk to adults.

When it’s so normal to have ‘Heads, shoulders, knees and toes’ running through your head or your vocabulary stretching as far as ‘5 little ducks went bloody swimming all day’, adult conversation doesn’t come too easily. We’re used to conversating with humans that are still learning to TALK! Find an adult to talk to! Even if you do only talk about each other’s kids (because that’s the only chat we have huh?!).

While becoming a mother is the most gratifying, rewarding and fulfilling job, nothing can prepare you for those days that you feel lonely. It’s totally normal and don’t feel bad or sad for feeling alone. We’re all in this TOGETHER.

By Laura xx

(Below, first time mummy’s Eloise, Lucy and Melisa)

Wednesday’s Wardrobe Presents….

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Wednesday’s Wardrobe Presents….

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The days are LONG

You will talk to yourself- a lot.

Draw strength from your husband/ partner.

You have to MAKE AN EFFORT to make friends.

You have to drag yourself out of the house.

You have to VALUE YOUR SLEEP (what little of it you get).

You have to remember to eat.

You have to keep those that you love close.

You have to have something for yourself.

You have to talk to adults.

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