‘You’re a mum..suck it up and deal with it!’ -yep, that’s what someone said to me recently!!! Then it got me to thinking, who am I? Those three words often play through my head, questioning my identity. Usually when I’m emotionally and physically drained, when life gets on top and sounds become fuzzy. By sounds I mean the constant drilling of my children’s squeals and shrieks. The monotonous routine of being ‘mum’, wife and generally attempting to keep-it-together woman. Are our roles ever that clear?
I’m laura, or strictly speaking laura-jane. I love doing arts and crafts, having fun, dancing, eating, drinking, going for walks, shopping, fashion, holidays, friends, stationary and all things second hand. I’m fun, smiley, obsessive and gullible. I love a social event, meeting new people, creating new experiences and planning. I love to wear high heels and a bit of sparkle. My favourite drink is Jack Daniels and coke and love nothing more than dancing to Whitney Houston, getting dressed up for an occasion and going for brunch with my sisters.
I’m laura, the wife. The diary logger, the minute taker and general organised Mrs on a mission to create a perfect life. I suck at cooking and I have a tendency to leave the butter out of the fridge almost all the time! I’m a hopeless romantic, love date nights and quality time. I admittedly drive a bit too fast, talk in my sleep, and clutter the house with my handmade/homemade projects.
I’m laura, the mother. Passionate about raising happy children. Easily distracted and forgetful. Occasionally manic, neurotic and ‘shouty’. I’m a people pleaser and like to keep the peace, but if shit’s going down, I’m on it sharpish. My children mean everything to me. My daily goal is to keep them alive and well. I strive to get it all done, and done to the best of my ability. I like to be in control and kick arse with my multitasking skills! I’m embarrassingly loving and tactile with my boys in public. I’m an emotional wreck. I’m constantly tired, have a regular foggy head, running off endless peppermint tea. I laugh easily, cry easily, shout easily and sing easily! My boobs sag, I have a kangaroo pouch and a c-section scar to be proud of. My body, my temper and my brain will never be the same again.
Im human. I’m a woman. I have a purpose- not just to be a wife and mother, but a purpose to bring something to the world. To enjoy being me, to embrace my freedom and gifts of love. To get all I can from life, as an individual as well as as a family unit.
So why is it that people merely only see me as a mum? ‘Suck it up and deal with it’ they said! Really? Should I have to? While motherhood is incredibly rewarding and gratifying, the flip side of it is that it is I N T E N S E. It’s a totally thankless job. When you’ve wiped arses all day long you don’t get a pat on the back or thank you from the kids. When you’ve negotiated for 10mins the need to get dressed and out the house and beads of sweat are dripping off your forehead, you don’t get a ‘sorry mummy for all the hassle I’ve caused this morning’! When you traipse back and forth to school on wet and windy days, and greet your child with a smile and ‘how was your day’ at school pickup only for the response to be ‘where’s my snack’ or ‘no I didn’t want that snack!’….
Give me a fucking break! Is that such a bad thing to want? NO. We need time out. We need reminding that we deserve every inch of space and ‘me time’. You people may roll your eyes when us mums say we met so and so for a coffee today OR every day this week (!), but what’s so wrong with that? When you spend 90% of your day doing a thankless job, and you have an opportunity to sit in a coffee shop for an hour or two GO FOR IT! If you get to an evening after tears and tantrums, battles at bedtime, house a tip and you’ve still only painted 4 of your toenails, count yourself lucky! It’s when you’ve not even painted ANY of them that you need an hour off. If your husband can turn around and offer to take that kids out for a few hours on a Saturday morning then you’re winning. Why should we have to ask? You spend every single day thinking for not only yourself but other tiny humans too. Just getting through each day keeping them alive is hard enough.
No I won’t just ‘deal with it’. Who am I? My name is laura and I’m not ‘just a mum’. I’m a sexy, sassy and fun woman who wants and needs the occasional ‘me time’ without people putting demands on me day in and day out.
My days of dancing on tables are certainly not long gone…even if I do have chocolate spread in my hair 😉